Zoophilia.
Today, I am seized by a virulent journalistic conscience (and a pretty spectacular too lazy). So I started to make a dizzying journey to the very sources of written composition. And my fabulous adventures in the land of CE2, I brought you some one of the founding principles of writing, which should guarantee this time an article clear, structured, and especially exciting. As I do not want to destabilize my readership by putting me in a quick one to write things flashed smart, I will progressively apply the famous golden rules of writing that I fished in my old notebook composition. First rule: choose a theme. I open my notebook to the first composition, "describe your room." No way, there may be minors among the readers, I can not speak for my room here. Second composition, " describe your favorite animal "... Bingo!
Damn but of course! Having played the kiwi, I'll gladly list all the characters in the animal kingdom that I love and explain why! I knew that this plunge in the primary school would increase the level of this blog ... Always go back to basics! And always turn off the blender before mixing carrots. Because after 3 or 4 times is a bit tedious to spend the evening licking his meal on the kitchen tiles.
Ok, let's go to my favorite animals. I will not put them necessarily in order of preference, but the first is my favorite so he absolutely must be the most preferred list of my favorite animals.
So for me the king of beasts, I give you in a thousand is not that lazy lion yellow sleeping in the shade of baobab trees. The king of beasts is the emu. It sits high on my Olympus, and even on a pedestal on the Olympus! But not for long because the emu squirms a lot, so it's a safe bet that before I finish writing this sentence, the emu will fall from the pedestal and down the slopes of Olympus, legs tangled around his neck. Maybe even sing he bawdy songs. The emu was plummeting music, and that's why we love him. We also love the emu guy for his looks, his eyes bright and delightful, and morphology sensual desire: a big feather pillow, with three pipes that come out, I like the concept. Imagine how your life would be nice if you'd like an emu, a third leg in the place you neck!
And then an emu, like all noble creatures of this world, derives its grandeur of his manner, he hoisted to the level of lifestyle. His credo: I swallow. I swallow the whole pineapple, I swallow the package of popcorn in the world with plastic, swallow the handbag with the little old lady who hangs (which is why it is not uncommon to hear a "you want my finger!" out of the belly of an emu when we cure the nose in a zoo). If Zola had his "I accuse" the emu has his "swallow". When I was young an emu had swallowed my right arm to the shoulder when I handed him a popcorn merrily. Hand in his stomach, I had recovered a watch, an umbrella (open) and an almost new bike seat and a spare tire for my tractor.
And then an emu is romantic (with a name like that, obviously), and is engaged in the spring of courtship that did not fail to inspire the candidates of "bachelor." As you've understood, the emu has the place of IQ well established in the rumen. The rest follows. The parade of the emu is a mad rush in the bush (or in your kitchen, but I do not recommend having an emu in apartment), characterized by sudden and random changes of direction (you know the link with the bachelor). Except that the head, casually perched on a 148-neck vertebrae, is hardly aware of the decisions taken in the brain of stomach bug. So she follows as she can, with a lot of late ... But it amuses as much (and it amuses you too, be a little rushed in the savannah by an emu, he confesses, rogue), emu shows a beaming, and enthusiasm, it flaps its wings frantically, so "i believe i can fly", which is not true at all. As an old Russian proverb says well-known ballet dancers, "swallow between tractor tires and fly with lightness, sometimes you choose. The emu has chosen, he swallows.
Now I must confess a report rather unhealthy with this wonderful animal which is the rabbit. As proof, my fascination for the movie "house bunny" ("Super Blonde" in French), and my playboy tattoo on his left buttock. I usually have little compassion for animals that have a potential mantle interesting. A chinchilla, for example, I can not approach it without a sleeve to me ... but not rabbits. And causes me not even stew. It must be said that the chinchilla is a kind of potato hairy (such as those who have spent six months in the bottom of my fridge) who spends his day sleeping in a sandbox. He looks so much more fulfilled on the back of a glamorous actress ... The bunny is cute. It hops awkwardly upon the polished floor of my living room, striving to travel 50 cm so it slides with its hairy paws ... And me it touched me while I filmed in his galley.
I have no more rabbits in my house. It's too hard emotionally to consider their demise. And then you have to hire professional mourners (often unionized), organize the funeral procession to the Pantheon, pay Mitterrand's speech ... In short I can not. My first rabbit was living with a roommate with a hamster that racket. The night he came to steal his seed. The rabbit was so stressed that he lost all his hair. It looked like a prawn. And I though I preach the hamster, nothing worked. My second rabbit I'm afraid he did not much like when I emptied a can of spray Baygon on a fly, forgetting completely that it was just off ... Anyway fate tells me clearly that I 'm not made for a rabbit.
Then I must say that I rather like raccoons.
Well, it it said.
And i like badgers as well. Here I have a story to tell you. The badger, an animal that is clumsy, good-natured and furious (I really had to do an article on badgers to write all those adjectives in a row), and wearing a jersey of the PSG and hiked in Jersey by wearing a bag Quechua, has against all odds of nocturnal habits that deserve describe. So
badgers at night, not sleeping. No, he does not snore either, although I'm sure he grumbles a lot. At night, he travels constantly and at full speed circuit in nature, which often reaches the radius several kilometers. It is not a badger for nothing. You see the side of Jersey ... And hiker in good conscientious hiker, badger never strays from the path marked by blue marks demarcated or, where applicable, its traces of urine (we do not do it too in Jersey or only one out of a pub). But then it does not deviate from 50cm. One day badger, badger ever.
And one day, my parents, who live in the wild backcountry of western Brittany, found a badger walked (and raging) every night their orchards. They quickly concluded that God had imposed the transition from a circuit Badger (though with a radius of several kilometers) stack on their orchard. No luck ... What?
My father, an engineer, and knows very well the badgers, which has nothing to do with the fact that he is enrolled in the neighborhood association but still a bit, had a bright idea. He laid a grid cell on the path of the badger in the garden entrance. Not a big fence, no, hardly wider than the width of a brush means. Well it did not miss. The next morning, no trace of badger in the orchard. However the fence was smashed with a hump-shaped skull badger. The badger had dark right in the fence, and the idea to bypass him not even touching the spirit, he turned back. So he took his card in his bag IGN Quechua, and he went further hike in the orchard neighbors no doubt. Since I love badgers. Like the stubborn creatures.
I must also confess a penchant for weasels.
When I was little, my grandparents had a chicken coop. And they kept telling stories of weasels, each more terrifying one than others. "The weasel still has 3 chickens slaughtered," "The weasel has twisted his neck a goose," the weasel has decimated a flock of sheep "," weasel ate my best cow and deposited the carcass in my bed "... So the weasel was a mythical creature and terrifying, we never saw, malignant as the last son of a peasant, who makes sweet shots (one who is not brave, but is Malignant anyway). And so she could spend transformable into all the interstices of your house. Limit in a pinhole she passed (which terrified my grandmother was intended seamstress).
So when I was bigger - I think it was in March 2008 that I grew up - fearless young man I became, I investigated the weasels and I went to park the woods to try to see one. Well I was not disappointed. Between a few carcasses of children (it might be dead branches), a huge weasel (or maybe it measured about eight inches), prowling threatening casting spells to passersby (or maybe she was playing with her little perky ). And then I was still disappointed she n'égorgeait not really eat cows but rather slugs in general. Which in itself is admirable I grant you.
But no matter, the value of things is in the eyes of others, and a slug-eating creature that manages to terrify people (also Jurassic and peasant it may be) has all my esteem and admiration.
I really like the muskrat in principle, because it is pushy. It's still just a rat vulgar, and sometimes to finish in a nice coat ... Another fine example of stubbornness. For a rat, it's still more glorious to die in a fur coat in a bin ... It is true we all do.
The snow owl is also my favor. It is a very lazy animal that has developed an extraordinary flexibility of the neck just to avoid having to move the rest of his body. We at the zoo he was throwing stuff to make it move, but nothing helped. One suspects that even a few people at the zoo had stuck to a branch to not let her leave. It is also the only bird who wears moon boots.
I think it would be fair enough that I also mentioned the Coati in this column. For those who do not know is a kind of big-haired hamster very rough, with a pig nose. And this beautiful creature to grace sylph (tamped the sylph, but it happens) is extremely fond of popcorn. As a big potential for interaction with Coati moron who goes into a trance when he smells a pop corn to 200 m. And then there they threw themselves into the mud, make pyramids to reach the popcorn that they tended, building small helicopters with leaves to escape from their cage (do not worry, it never works, but c is cool to see them try) and block the airspace causing volcanic eruptions in Iceland. Very entertaining.
Finally, a few words about the animals that I do not like but then not at all: aplaventrés animals, too smart or too loyal like dogs "intelligent". German Shepherds in mind, especially those with long hair on the legs, and trot all day with his tongue dangling. Yerkes! I do not like the so called dangerous animals, but actually do nothing of the day ... Never did a lion stung me my popcorn at the zoo. An emu or a coati is very common. Next time I will ask the carcass of an antelope at the zoo entrance instead of popcorn. And a wheelbarrow to lug around. A
unless I rented a living antelope, and I have split the wind savannah on his back, hair flying, shirt open, Meryl Streep hipped, pursued by a lion or an emu in turmoil ...
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