You know me, I'm not one to publish articles incomprehensible, frivolous, or referring to facts not true ... not my idea to also submit written vaguely nebulous formalism purely selfish and elitist. You know, my blog is an example of journalistic access. And like any self-respecting blogger, I dealt only with issues that affect my daily readership (far be it from me to make you waste time), such as hair removal kiwis, for brawls in roller and mini skirt, shorts or Star Wars. So I will once again occur under your very eyes, and without unreasonable increase in ticket prices, a new masterpiece of journalistic composition, which will simplify your daily life, open your smoky eye to the outside world, and especially what is remarkable deal for a significant portion of this long Friday cruelly separates me from the weekend. Here is an article intense journalistic, within the limits of available neurons.
Today, I 'll cheerfully tell you (when you love, you do not tell, and you do not tell it to me) my not so bucolic getaway in Jersey-over-handle. Finally Jersey is a bit misleading, I should say the town of St. Helier, Jersey-over-handle or the main street and the luxury hotel in the town of St. Helier in Jersey on-sleeve. I will go and explain to you why my journalistic integrity requires me to split hairs at this point.
In the collective imagination (which in my opinion is nothing but a barren desert where jackals lurk some poorly educated), the island of Jersey is a paradise preserved for nature lovers, hikers, Odds wild, fresh air, gardens of flowers and earthy authenticity. I do not always explained. Yet the facts are there. Saturday morning, stumbled half awake with my dear sister in the departure lounge of the ferry station of Saint Malo, at 7am, it was clear that the crowd around us was not particularly beautiful for walking the red carpet of the Palais des Festivals. Gauchos beige or brown, fleece jackets with intriguing colors (sometimes pastel), hiking shoes, backpack, tent, camper, portable dishwasher solar ... The whole outrageously stamped insignia "Quechua" ... I even saw one with a bob. Love him
the coast of Brittany, I explained, it Mignonnet wish. But why that Jersey would be so exotic? After all it is 20km to fart all the coasts of Normandy Brittany ... So why pay a crossing and a change of country just to see their side but in reverse, a bit beyond me. Or they were offered equipment "Quechua" at Christmas and they knew not where to wear it ... Because
still in Jersey, the wildest part is the zoo, and so much better. Very nice zoo for that matter, a little lacking emu but not lacking in gorillas, where the lemurs frolic in freedom. It is a joy every moment of the chase to slingshot them to make hats. But the rest is fairly densely built luxury villas. And for the soil, the most glamorous thing about Jersey is the cow. The famous Jersey cow "that was stamped on each product containing a trace of the dairy product.
You who know my love of the countryside and walking, you understand that I am about to write a comprehensive praise to this wonderful island where, far from the desert areas and small stores genuine, all is shopping street, shopping center, pub and spa
sirens ... So that you understand well the real face of this island wonderful, we must put in mind that Jersey is not a wild and unspoilt paradise, but a tax haven and urbanized. And that's why we go there actually. Because in my case hunting hummingbird and the identification of different species of wild artichoke, I did it once in class CE1 green and it was enough. So as it is a tax haven protected from harmful tax that destroy the natural habitat of the rich and the wealthy bin live and breed (but not too much, that's what good little lumps rate) in peace. So they built these remarkable buildings in which their society flourishes: modern glass top banks, shopping malls, trendy bars, luxury hotels. And not to ruin their shoes rich (or because their bones have not survived the diet of this very special paradise-see below-), many of them moving in small motor vehicles, a cross between a golf cart and scooter jet. Of course there are accidents, and that's what makes these people so endearing.
The other consequence of the tax paradise is that in the ferry fleet nicely to Jersey, there is a tax-free shop. Where you find all the stuff not too good for your health but extremely splendoyant for your morale, as are fags, cigars, niaule concentrated, English chocolates and beauty products (which are beneficial for all aspects of human realm). So even before the hand of the man put the Jersey on foot, she can begin doing business in earnest. And trade out there that not laugh, since there are almost as many banks as pubs, which is saying something. The trap is to fill his bag before landing, and be strong guard when Top Shop comes complete ... Speaking of her bag, I still do not understand why the ferry does not close it all the people who vomit in Park sealed. A bit like we did with smokers at one time. Especially as the vomit I think it far more annoying than smoke cigarettes. Because there, you know, I'll be lenient, but there were Beside us a woman who was asleep. And look like nothing she woke up on purpose to throw up. She stayed 10 minutes in the head to empty its bag of his own guts, before falling asleep again as if nothing had happened. Suffice to say that with my sister, it was awfully upset us. But after 3 minutes it was used, and we started to film the lady for her to remember his long trip to Jersey. And then, for example, we have thrown overboard in the eddies behind the turbines. One felt that Ben needed to take a little air.
Brief After a short time tax-free shopping, the bag filled with bottles of gin and bundles of shortbread, we landed on the island. And then there's beautiful harbor with yachts and all around a mixture of fine glass banks and facades typical pub. And in the middle is a beautiful building all shiny and outrageously classy: our hotel. The Royal Yacht Club "oh my lady. And there was still much less understood the people who will be trekking with their bag of Quechua, because this place is so perfect that we almost hesitate to go out and go shopping ... The staff is aplaventré to perfection, and it was fun to bring 4 times the groom in the room for him to change the batteries in the remote DVD drive. As we had found a DVD that does not really worked, they gave us free access to movies on demand! Suddenly everything has downloaded their database of movies ass ... But the best this hotel is the spa "mermaid." Here is the total delirium. Everything is perfumed, set to music, perfect temperature, and you evolve as floating in cotton ouatifié ... Even there was a great shower that you made the rain all the seas of the world, with iodization charitable winds, the cries of seagulls, surfers and jet algae out of the water. And there was even an effect "xinthia" which was a large bucket of cold water hanging above your head that you can reverse by pulling on a rope (like a monk bell ringer, but in a swimsuit, and most muscular of course). And then there was everything necessary level saunas, steam rooms, to make your muscular body glistening with desire as a result of your manly perspiration (oula, pheromones ...).
After a while, when we had nothing to sweat, it was still determined to go out into the streets to exchange our money cons of beauty. The advantage in Jersey is that there is a street, it is 300m, it that in this street there are all the shops in London. Top Shop (where I bought a tshirt "i love ur mum" with a naked woman on it), New Look (where I bought a perfect jeans and a Tshirt Power Rangers, which goes very well with my pants and my hat starwars), a whole gaggle of department stores (where I bought a Prada cologne at prices enjoyable, re-pheromones), and then there's Boots ... Who is like a supermarket of beauty and drugs. Then my sister and me are filled with a semi each trailer, with rinses, creams, vitamins (the first one I found deficient I stumble), and medicines. Less than a penny a tablet of paracetamol 500mg me that makes me dream. So I put across in my cereal in my Coffee ... And I fly. Ibuprofen is at about the same price (which is good since it's been six months that I dance under anti-inflammatories). No discount on DHEA, however. We will return for the sales. Suffice to say that after 2 shops were returning to the hotel to drop our bags and we rented a caravan of camels to transported to the port on Sunday evening.
And among the stores there is Marks and Spencers, where stocks are made of chips and pickled ginger drink to keep going throughout the day. That allows me to transitioning to the chapter "British way of life" of my article! Everyone knows that England is the country's refined cuisine. So in the morning arriving at the hotel of your dreams, we started by eating a light breakfast English: breakfast tea that strips your spoon, toast and marmalade, Jersey butter, potato pancakes, bacon and eggs, beans, stewed tomatoes, and few slices of a sort of big black pudding. And there was also decorate muffins I think. Then we fueled by chips with vinegar until, according to the law of communicating vessels, the shops are empty and the pubs fill up. Then my stomach turn is filled Strongbow cider, which is not too much of cider, but a solid beer almost hallucinogenic pronounced. So I see lots of girls squads in mini skirt, fishnet tights and tank top neckline under the boobs, then it was 2 ° while farting. Then my sister confirmed that she had seen the same, so we spent the evening sitting on a bench-watching squads sluts. And it was good. Of course it gave us hungry. Then we feasted on the famous local specialty of the island: French fries with curry sauce covered with melted cheese and vinegar. Our happiness levels were paroxysmal.
This, with too much detail, stylistic heaviness and length, the summary of this weekend in Jersey ... Obviously we think only one thing: to return to the beginning balances. You come with us? At
diverse and exciting news that punctuate every moment of my hectic life, know our super-family production will be on stage May 1, there are dance, theater, music, movies, popcorn, an emu who juggles with false beard and a woman to chat ( it is the woman who is multilingual, no beard). You believe me? Ben brings you on May 1 If you want to know where you leave me a message.
meantime you should go see "all that glitters." And after you speak chav for 1000 years thou shalt make a face of peacock ate too much and you sing "song on my funny life" in the subway. And then you can go see Julien Doré (from all that glitters rolala I'm funny !), Which is very charming in "together we will live a very great love story." Especially when he plays the tambourine in traditional costume.
Check out these good words, I'll go to my course of hip hop. Jt'ai chui said too bad boy now. Yeah drives me kes you, you're the fast-talking. Go back to your mother spreads.
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